no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
