I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize