Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
