I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whoreâ€. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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