I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
NoShamevember. You game?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
