some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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