omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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