bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
