K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just pee around me
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
