How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
