he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
