I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We are two peas in an std pod
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
