i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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