i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
