Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
as a side note pls kill me
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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