I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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