guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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