Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
