I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
