We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
