I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
