This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
