ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
