Just cropdusted the office
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
