My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
