Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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