Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
you made out with another girl for some wings
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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