Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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