Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
