We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i think i have two assholes
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Randomize
