College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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