Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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