If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize