The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
