OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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