p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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