Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
