so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
