i just had sex bonerless
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
