God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
