4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
