So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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