I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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