i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
