Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
