At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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