you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
