For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
