On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize