I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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