I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
two words: eviction party
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
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