Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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