Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
