she woke up with a sticky ear
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
