Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
