you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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