margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
