so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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