come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
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