Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
