I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
