He is an equal opportunity slut.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
