shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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